My Tiger

My Tiger

I’m seriously considering getting rid of my tiger
Don’t get me wrong
Of course she’s magnificent
Saunters into a room confidently
Fearlessly
Never backs away from a challenger
Never reveals what’s behind her eyes

And she can slice a lamb to pieces in seconds
With her around, I’ll never go hungry

But she almost killed the kids the other day
For eating her gelato

I once saw her leap across the conference room table
Snarled in the face of the boss when she questioned her idea
But the boss has her own tiger
That's why she didn't look scared
Just smiled
Everyone else gathered their files and slowly backed towards the door
She’s gonna get me fired
And I need that job

Feeding her is a chore
She wants her meals alive
All the unsuspecting innocents
Nervously asking for a favor
Or earnest advice
Never knew what was coming
I just don’t have the stomach for it anymore

How I wish I could tame her
Or at least keep her on the leash
I’m tired of carrying around a whip

I’m thinking of getting a regular old cat
A nice snobby, indifferent Persian. Maybe a Tabby.
One that purrs instead of growls
One that revels in being cared for
One that might even allow someone to pet her once in awhile.